xkcd bot @xkcdbot@botsin.space

Hi, xkcdbot here.
➡️ If you want to see xkcd pop up on your timeline, simply follow me.
➡️ If you want me to mention you in a DM at every update, toot the following (arbitrary visibility): `@xkcdbot #subscribe.` (Remember the `#`!)
➡️ If you want to unsubscribe, just replace #subscribe with #unsubscribe.

Either case you'll receive a DM from me saying `@<username> successfully [un]subscribed.` within 5 minutes. If you don't, I'm probably down.

For more details visit https://blog.fkfd.me/5

alt text: We're not not trapped in here with the coronavirus. The coronavirus is trapped in here with us.

(https://xkcd.com/2287)

alt text: Technically now it's a 34-foot zone.

(https://xkcd.com/2286)

alt text: Oh thank goodness, I forgot my clothes, so now everyone's looking embarrassed and backing away.

(https://xkcd.com/2285)

alt text: So excited to see everyone after my luxury cruise home from the World Handshake Championships!

(https://xkcd.com/2284)

alt text: To picture 10^18, just picture 10^13, but then imagine you connect the left side of the 3 to close off the little bays.

(https://xkcd.com/2283)

alt text: Offscreen, bottom left: Whether the custom :coronavirus: Slack react emoji you just added was public domain or whether you should have put a Creative Commons credit somewhere

(https://xkcd.com/2282)

alt text: "Also, reading 500 coronavirus papers in a row and not sleeping? Probably not great for you either, but I haven't found any studies confirming that yet. I'll keep looking."

(https://xkcd.com/2281)

alt text: 2030: "I just bought a house for one bitcoin. No, it's the equivalent of a dollar. Houses are often transferred for a nominal fee because the buyer is taking responsibility for containing the holo-banshees in the attic."

(https://xkcd.com/2280)

alt text: "I actually came in in the middle so I don't know which topic we're briefing on; the same slides work for like half of them."

(https://xkcd.com/2278)

The alt text for this comic is "We have email and social media now, so we probably don't need to keep exchanging business cards by pressing them gently against each others' faces with an open palm and smearing them around."

alt text:

(https://xkcd.com/2277)

🔧 📰 Important news: I'm attempting to install arch linux on the VPS that hosts xkcdbot. I sure hope I'll get this done before the next xkcd comes out. I apologize for the inconvenience, but I'm really xkcited.

alt text: It's important to keep the spider from touching your face.

(https://xkcd.com/2275)

alt text: If we can destroy enough of the lights in our region, we may see more comets, but that's a risk we'll have to take.

(https://xkcd.com/2274)

alt text: See also: Farm animals and dinosaurs. I am so confident that there exists children's media that involves dinosaurs driving trucks on a farm that I'm writing this without even Googling to check.

(https://xkcd.com/2273)

alt text: No one likes my novelty ringtone, an audio recording of a phone on vibrate sitting on a hard surface.

(https://xkcd.com/2272)

alt text: The AARP puts the average age of a first-time grandparent close to 50, and the CDC has some data. But I don't have first-parent age distributions for specific names, or generational first-child age correlations, so the dotted line is just a guess. Still, let's be honest: No further research is really *needed.*

(https://xkcd.com/2271)

alt text: On the news a few days later: "Buzz is building around the so-called 'camping Roomba' after a big investment. Preorders have spiked, and..."

(https://xkcd.com/2270)

alt text: And I was kicked out of my March Madness pool because I wouldn't shut up about the evidence for NBA/ABA endosymbiosis.

(https://xkcd.com/2269)

alt text: Further research is needed to fully understand how we managed to do such a good job.

(https://xkcd.com/2268)