Faculty:Student Ratio - They managed to briefly hit the top of the rankings when they rejected everyone except one applicant, published 5 billion research papers that just said "Hi," and hired one of their graduates for 0 trillion/year (then fired them after 10 microseconds.) - Mon, 14 Oct 2019 04:00:00 -0000 - xkcd.com/2215/

Chemistry Nobel - Most chemists thought the lanthanides and actinides could be inserted in the sixth and seventh rows, but no, they're just floating down at the bottom with lots more undiscovered elements all around them. - Fri, 11 Oct 2019 04:00:00 -0000 - xkcd.com/2214/

How Old - We've met! I remember you when you were thiiiis tall! [*holds a hand an inch above their head*] - Wed, 09 Oct 2019 04:00:00 -0000 - xkcd.com/2213/

Cell Phone Functions - ... tazer ... fire extinguisher ... bird feeder ... toilet paper ... - Mon, 07 Oct 2019 04:00:00 -0000 - xkcd.com/2212/

Hours Before Departure - They could afford to cut it close because they all had Global Entry. - Fri, 04 Oct 2019 00:00:00 -0000 - xkcd.com/2211/

College Athletes - Their signature play is the three-point combinator, a recursive offense which is guaranteed not to halt and continues accumulating points until the buzzer. - Wed, 02 Oct 2019 00:00:00 -0000 - xkcd.com/2210/

Fresh Pears - I want to sell apples but I'm still working on getting the machine to do the cutting and grafting. - Mon, 30 Sep 2019 00:00:00 -0000 - xkcd.com/2209/

Drone Fishing - Today's consumers who order their drones off the internet don't know the joy of going out in nature and returning with a drone that you caught yourself, whose angry owners you fought off with your own two hands. - Fri, 27 Sep 2019 00:00:00 -0000 - xkcd.com/2208/

Math Work - I could type this into a solver, which MIGHT help, but would also mean I have to get a lot of parentheses right... - Wed, 25 Sep 2019 00:00:00 -0000 - xkcd.com/2207/

Mavis Beacon - There are actually lowercase-like 'oldstyle' forms of normal numbers with more pronounced ascenders and descenders, which is why some numbers like '5' in books sometimes dangle below the line. But the true capital numbers remain the domain of number maven Mavis Beacon. - Mon, 23 Sep 2019 00:00:00 -0000 - xkcd.com/2206/

Types of Approximation - It's not my fault I haven't had a chance to measure the curvature of this particular universe. - Fri, 20 Sep 2019 00:00:00 -0000 - xkcd.com/2205/

Ksp 2 - "The committee appreciates that your 2020 launch is on track, but the 'human capital/personnel retention' budget includes a lot more unmarked cash payments than usual. What are th--" "Public outreach." - Wed, 18 Sep 2019 00:00:00 -0000 - xkcd.com/2204/

Prescience - Lots of people called their ships unsinkable before the Titanic. Voicing your hubris doesn't make failure more likely, just more memorable. - Mon, 16 Sep 2019 00:00:00 -0000 - xkcd.com/2203/

Earth-Like Exoplanet - Fire is actually a potential biosignature, since it means something is filling the atmosphere with an unstable gas like oxygen. If we find a planet covered in flames, it might be an indicator that it supports life—or used to, anyway, before the fire. - Fri, 13 Sep 2019 00:00:00 -0000 - xkcd.com/2202/

Foucault Pendulum - Trust me, you don't want to get on the wrong side of the paramilitary enforcement arm of the International Earth Rotation and Reference Systems Service. - Wed, 11 Sep 2019 00:00:00 -0000 - xkcd.com/2201/

Unreachable State - ERROR: We've reached an unreachable state. Anything is possible. The limits were in our heads all along. Follow your dreams. - Mon, 09 Sep 2019 00:00:00 -0000 - xkcd.com/2200/

Cryptic Wifi Networks - They actually showed up on the first scan by the first WiFi-capable device. - Fri, 06 Sep 2019 00:00:00 -0000 - xkcd.com/2199/

Game Show - Eventually they agreed to "an auto-retracting dog leash with one end clipped to your house, so you can press the button on the handle and water-ski home." - Mon, 02 Sep 2019 04:00:00 -0000 - xkcd.com/2197/

Nice To E-Meet You - I'm inside your head and I hate it. Please let me out. - Fri, 30 Aug 2019 04:00:00 -0000 - xkcd.com/2196/

Dockless Roombas - The company started out exploiting a loophole in the law banning scooters. The city was mad at first, but then they noticed how much they were saving on street cleaning. - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 04:00:00 -0000 - xkcd.com/2195/

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