If you die a virgin, you are the first person in your direct bloodline to do so

This cold weather is just one big promo for the new GoT season

Microtransactions aren't really micro anymore.. They are just transactions.

People think ASMR is new but Bob Ross has been on television showing focus on soft voices, painting noises, etc. since 1983.

If you got shit on any other part of your body, using a piece of dry paper to wipe it off would not be considered sufficient.

A couple of hundred years ago the idea that people get sick because of little creatures so tiny no one could see them living inside sounded like the craziest conspiracy theory

Most telescopes are telescopic, but no microscopes are microscopic

A broken sleep schedule is a fixed sleep schedule in another time zone

If only one good thing has come from the game Fortnite it's that kids thank their real life school bus drivers more.

Even though Harry Potter can regrow bones in his arm overnight with a single spell, he still wears glasses

In 9 months there will probably be a small baby boom, in the midwest, due to the polar vortex

The song you choose as your funeral song essentially becomes the ending credits theme to your life.

Being born is the ultimate lottery that you never signed up for

Working out is basically beating yourself up till your body becomes strong enough to protect itself

The most unrealistic thing about most sitcoms is how everyone's schedules line up perfectly so groups of 5+ people can get together every single day.

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