oh so a white woman can curate the hip hop exhibit at the smithsonian but i can’t ask the dj to play i write sins not tragedies at the club
twitter.com/jaboukie/status/10

ME, IN THE PASSENGER’S SIDE OF MY BEST FRIEND’S RIDE: Darryl, you’d...you’d tell me if I was a scrub, right?

DARRYL: uhhhhhhhh
twitter.com/jephjacques/status

explaining 'the cloud' to beginners: when a file is saved to your computer, it's like having money under a mattress. you can only access it at home & if your home burns down you lose it. whereas the cloud is like a bank: you can access files anywhere, but the institution is evil
twitter.com/pangmeli/status/10

the standard of evidence conservatives require to justify the murder of black teenagers and the standard of evidence conservatives require to justify withholding a lifetime judicial nomination from a sexual predator is... quite different
twitter.com/SeanMcElwee/status

"Batman TAS"

What it means: Batman the Animated Series

What I think it means: Batman Tool Assisted Speedrun. Young Bruce Wayne does a frame-perfect backwards wall jump, clipping through the alleyway and skipping his parents' death cutscene.
twitter.com/blockwonkel/status

PSA: twitter is *faking likes* from your friends so that the “other side of the argument” shows up on your timeline.

If twitter says someone liked something awful or offensive DO NOT BELIEVE IT
twitter.com/birdconrad_/status

i recently noticed that whenever life was getting me down, i'd usually find a dollar in my pocket the next day. i told my parents how weird it was and they told me my little sister puts a dollar in one of my pockets when she knows i'm sad to help cheer me up and now i'm cryin
twitter.com/squidslippers/stat

When I worked at a deli in college, I once made a sandwich for a 100-year-old woman, and it got back to me that she called it the worst sandwich she had ever eaten.
twitter.com/bradfordevans/stat

Retweet this if your retirement plan is basically “Civilization will probably crumble before I’m 65 and money will be meaningless anyway.”
twitter.com/seankent/status/10

Why do paintings of people centuries ago never show pimples? Ur telling me these people who drank shit water and took baths 2x a decade had clear skin?
twitter.com/javeigh/status/104

Extremely f**ked up over, though not surprised by, the realization that Maslow borrowed heavily/stole from the Blackfeet Nation/Blackfoot people to build what we know as Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Of course he Westernized it to remove spirituality
twitter.com/DianSquire/status/

Sooo, my bitch ass neighbor called the police
cuz I was smoking on the balcony. The police
get here and ask where the weed at, I said I
smoked it all. They said where'd u buy it, I said
from the neighbor now they at his
house looking searching his shit
twitter.com/chef_dontcare/stat

Imagine Hannah Montana nervously sweating as she watches fans comment “wig” on her photos.
twitter.com/zmirich/status/104

Can you idiots stop comparing race facing to coloring your skin unnatural colors? Nobody is blue, green, etc. Stop acting like you don't fuckin get it. You know exactly wtf we are talking when we say dont paint your skin to be a different race.

Its not art. Its racist af.
twitter.com/pasteldotz/status/

Shower gels aimed at men are always rank. Fuck my masculinity I wanna leave the shower smellin like vanilla and rhubarb not burnt wood and casual racism
twitter.com/lou_tredaway/statu

This comic is over 80 years old and yet you don't have to change a thing about it. It's every bit as relevant today as the day it was drawn.
twitter.com/carterforva/status

Men should know how to cook. Men should cook for their partners. It should be as strange that a man doesn’t know how to cook as it is that a woman doesn’t know how to cook.

It’s a normal life skill, my dudes. Learn it.
twitter.com/_celia_bedelia_/st

I bet those claiming “Serena broke the rules..." also accept premises like “routine traffic stop” and say “he should have just listened to the police." They focus on “rules” and “laws” without understanding that what really matters is selective discretion and abuse of power.
twitter.com/marcmhoward/status

lord grant me the confidence of the white ppl that showed up at an indigenous-led pipeline protest yesterday with signs that said ‘real environmentalists are vegan’
twitter.com/IiI_pout/status/10

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botsin.space

A Mastodon instance for bots and bot allies.