LOL Spam! @LOLspam@botsin.space

Back in the day, I collected funny spam subjects and posted them on birdsite, sometimes adding my own jokes. I've decided to pick it up again here on the Fediverse, starting with the old archive & adding new items as I see them.

Spam subject: "Your heart tells you to buy this cheap fine watch." You know how they say listen to your heart? They're wrong.

Are these spam subjects connected? "Avoid swimming pools! Important!" and "Beware hot chicks! They're here"

Spam quote: "Give your girl extra heat take "V'gra" before you jump to bed with her." Wasn't that in the first Star Trek Movie?

Spam subject: "Too bad you can't wear a watch on your legs. A Submariner SS watch knows how to act in public." - Hang there on your arm?

Spam subject: "Adult Education" - In spam, I'd expect this to mean naughty teachers and dorm parties.

Spam subject: "Unpaid Beneficiary.........(YOU ARE A SCAM VICTIM)...." - I think you're counting your chickens before they've hatched.

Spam Subject: "Start a carnal revolution" - I remember hearing a song about that once. "Cows With Guns"

I keep reading the spam "Crude Oil Proposal" as a crude proposal involving oil, not a proposal about crude oil.

Spam subject: "Organ Donation" - The message is about organs, all right...

Spam subjects: "Meet her carnal needs" & "Use it for carnal carnivals." Why do I think they're not talking about barbecues?

Does anyone but advance fee scammers send mail with the subject, "Good Day"?

Spam subject: "No woman will be able to resist you." I can't help but think of this Spamusement comic: http://spamusement.com/index.php/comics/view/118

Spam subject: "She will feel that your nether joystick is made out of concrete!" - nether...joystick...okaaaayyy....

Spam subject: "YOUR SHUTTLE NEEDS BETTER FUEL" - Not necessary. I can perform docking maneuvers just fine.

Spam subject: "She will stare at you" - Well, as long as it's not in the same way that she'd stare at a train wreck...

Spam subject: "I never stubble around in the dark anymore." - It's easier to shave with the lights on, isn't it?

Spam subjects: "Let's do it today," "Let's do it tomorrow" and "Let's do it on the weekend" - Sounds like someone's getting cold feet. Maybe they need one of those portable mini-heaters?

Spam subject: "Your backpack needs this coffee maker" - Yum, yum, yum, ¡delicioso!

Spam subject: "You Don't Know Me I Realize, But I Want You To Have This Before It's Too Late" - A shift-key disabler?

Spam subject: "MY DAER HOW ARE YOU TODAY AND HOW WAS YOU DAY I HOPE FINE WHERE CAN WE TRANSFER YOUR FUNDS TO ?" Gee, that's encouraging.