LOL Spam! @LOLspam@botsin.space

Back in the day, I collected funny spam subjects and posted them on birdsite, sometimes adding my own jokes. I've decided to pick it up again here on the Fediverse, starting with the old archive & adding new items as I see them.

Spam subject: "Thousand happy couples thank this hormone" - Oxytocin?

Spam subject: "Stop connecting through me" - Sounds like one of those passive-aggressive wifi hotspot names.

Spam subject: "Spur your purple-headed one!"

Spam subject: "Make your babymaker stonehard." Actually, I think the uterus should stay flexible.

Spam subject: "Attention Email User!!!" - How did they know???

Spam subject: "I will pay you just for clicking your mouse" - Really? AWESOME! Click!click!click! Now, where's my cash? ... Hey! You didn't say it mattered *where* I clicked it! *grumble*grumble* Jerks.

Spam subject: "Your new reality is upon you" - What, did we have another cosmic crisis again?

I keep waiting for different spam types to start breeding, but I still haven't seen "Enlarge your watch with Acai."

Spam subject: "For better rod-on frequency"

Spam subject: "Invisible mac supermarket" - It's not that great. It's hard to find, and they only have Apples in the produce section.

Spam subject: "Be a Superman with ladies" - As I recall, Superman was kind of a jerk to Lois: http://www.superdickery.com/

Spam subject: "Restore your faces natural glow" - And then turn around, bright eyes...

Spam subject: "Never run out of power again" - Believe it or not, it was about solar panels.

Spam subject: "Fantastic shag pics" - Why would I want to look at carpets from the 1970s?

Spam subjects: "Attain your desired proportion and size" and "ATTENTION: Final Notice of Your Package" - context is everything, isn't it?

Spam subject: "Do your savings fit into a coffee can?" Why, are you offering one of those vaccum-pack doohickeys?

Spam subject: "Your wife need your attention? Solve all the problems with IT." So, if you call tech support instead of fixing your computer yourself, you'll have more time for your wife. Alternate punchline: Thank you for calling Wife Support. To improve your relationship, hang up and talk to her!

"Be her drillosaur!" - is...is this a "Poke"-mon?

Spam subject: "Don't Get Left Behind" - Possibly good advice, but I don't usually base my book purchasing habits on anonymous spammers.

I received "An Open Letter To All Scam Victims" from the "Nigerian Ministry of Foreign Affairs." From a Russian email. Suure.