Pinned toot

Back in the day, I collected funny spam subjects and posted them on birdsite, sometimes adding my own jokes. I've decided to pick it up again here on the Fediverse, starting with the old archive & adding new items as I see them.

Spam subject: "Too bad you can't wear a watch on your legs. A Submariner SS watch knows how to act in public." - Hang there on your arm?

Spam subject: "The coolest joint in the world" - I didn't know they grew pot in Antarctica.

Spam subject: "You're acting immature" - No, *you're* acting immature! I'm rubber and you're glue!

Spam subject: "With our watches precious minutes will go slower." So it's a selling point that they don't keep time correctly?

Spam subject: "Leningrad fossil's inhabitable" - That's one big fossil.

Found in a blog spam folder: "I tried to publish a comment earlier, however it has not shown up. I believe your spam filter may be broken?" - The commenter's name? "{K|J|P}{a|e}{n|m}{e|a|i}" No, I think the spam filter is working just fine.

Unclear spam subject: "You will love the results on your organ" - Is it furniture polish? Some kind of tuning system?

Spam subject: "Why did you send me this picture?" Seriously, why? I mean...eeew!

Um... what? Spam subject: "Release Your Soul with Anne Hathaway"

Spam subject: "Forget expensive doctor's visits" - It's OK. You'll remember when you get the bill for the cancellation fee.

Spam subject: "Restore your faces natural glow" - And then turn around, bright eyes...

Spam subject: "MOVING SEX MACHINE" - Wait, so they *are* moving furniture around up there? I'm so confused!

Spam subject: "Let's have pizzalunch" - I'm going to have to start using that word.

"COMPENSATION FOR SCAMMED VICTIMS"...is what you'll need if you respond to this spam.

Spam subjects: "Attain your desired proportion and size" and "ATTENTION: Final Notice of Your Package" - context is everything, isn't it?

Spam subject: "Do you have little Michelangelo running around your home?" - If so, tell him to come home, it's time for dinner.

Spam subject: "Charm her panties off" - So will she charm your snake in return?

Spam preview: "Robbers get chewed by piranhas" - This gives me an idea for a new business: trained guard piranhas!

Spam subject: "Augment your lovemaking toy" - If they're not offering attachments for a vibrator, I'm not sure this is truth in advertising.

Spam subject: "Being hung as a horse is more than possible." - Do you have to dress up as the back end?

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