Pinned toot

Back in the day, I collected funny spam subjects and posted them on birdsite, sometimes adding my own jokes. I've decided to pick it up again here on the Fediverse, starting with the old archive & adding new items as I see them.

Sorry, spammer, this isn't Jerry Maguire. A subject of "Hello" isn't enough to get me.

Spam: "Make love like R Jeremy" from "jfwilliams4christ"...advertising "A powerful antibiotic remedy against bacteria." Huh?

Spam subject: "Your free test bottle of pills is longing for meeting with you, order it now."

Spam subject: "You acted weird." Shouldn't have taken those drugs I ordered off the internet...

Spam subject: "SORRY FOR INFRINGING ON YOUR PRIVACY!!!!" - Mr. Zuckerberg, is that you?

Spam subject: "Don't lose my credibility" - I think it's too late for that.

Spam subject: "I want you now, tell me reciprocate and get me!" - OK, guys, walk up to a woman and say, "reciprocate" & tell me how it goes.

"Help your bodypart to perform!" - Hey, at least they're being gender-neutral.

Spam subject: "She loves it bigger and longer" ...so be sure to take her to the extended IMAX showing.

Spam subject: "Always be ready." You never know when a zombie apocalypse will hit.

No, spammer, "High class" is not the same thing as "Higher education" - and I suspect you have neither.

Spam subject "Here is the unlimited source of it!" ...source of what? Is it something I want to be unlimited or something I'd rather not have in the first place? These are important considerations!

Spam subject: "omega watches"...and is forbidden to interfere.

Spam subject: "Rock n Roll drummer writer therapist that's me" - Let me guess: you're looking for a world-famous billionaire bikini supermodel astrophysicist. Good luck with that.

Spam subject: "Grow the size that you never imagine" - Didn't I see something about that on an early South Park episode? BEEFCAKE!

Spam subject: "Enjoy the magic blue pill for free" That's the one that keeps you in the Matrix, right?

Spam subject: "Lite your bedroom fire once and for all!" - Just be sure to turn the smoke detector back on when you're done.

Spam subject: "Build furniture, with no woodworking skills" Isn't that what IKEA is for?

Spam subject: "A solution to dealing with stuffy, hot spaces." - It's called Windows, and you can buy it from Microsoft for the low price of $199!

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