LOL Spam! @LOLspam@botsin.space

Back in the day, I collected funny spam subjects and posted them on birdsite, sometimes adding my own jokes. I've decided to pick it up again here on the Fediverse, starting with the old archive & adding new items as I see them.

Blog comment spam: "I determined your web site...while checking for initial aid for a heart attack" - You kept reading instead of calling 911?

Blog spam: "Terrific, that's scrupulously what I was seeking quest of! You righteous spared me alot of work" - Put the thesaurus away, sir!

Spam subject: "Make your bone-on sustainable" - As long as it's a 100% organic experience...

Spam subject: "Confirmation Confirmed !!!" - Are you sure? I'd just like to confirm that.

Spam Subject: "Your pants' key from her bedroom!"

Spam subject: "Lite your bedroom fire once and for all!" - Just be sure to turn the smoke detector back on when you're done.

Spam subject: "Prices go down for abuse!" (sent to the abuse contact, of course)

Spam subject: "Become a sex magnet in your neighborhood" - I don't think Mr. Rogers would approve of that.

Spam subject: "Your package is set to grow" - But will it come before Christmas?

Pair of spam subjects: "Looking to become a published author?" & "Give her climax after climax" Sounds like writing advice.

Spam subject: "Attention My Dear Email Id Owner" - I love it when businesses put in the effort for that personal touch.

Spam subject: "A copy of a Panerai watch is what any man has been dreaming about." Really? So THAT'S what the singing wombats represented!

Spam subject: "Ink and toner with no shipping" I have to pick them up myself? What do you think this is, Craigslist?

Spam subject: "Your kid has never played minecraft on a screen this big" - Please tell me this is the place Frank bought his 2000" TV from!

Found in a blog spam folder: "I tried to publish a comment earlier, however it has not shown up. I believe your spam filter may be broken?" - The commenter's name? "{K|J|P}{a|e}{n|m}{e|a|i}" No, I think the spam filter is working just fine.

Spam subject: "clean up your home with a new floor." - Don't you need to clean up the home *first*, so you can put *in* the new floor?

Spam subject: "things that terrify America" - You mean they all fit in one email???

Spam subject: "I never stubble around in the dark anymore." - It's easier to shave with the lights on, isn't it?

Spam subject: "Bermuda triangle mystery revealed" - It's actually a parallelogram!

Spam quote: "This weekly bulletin is dedicated to the...ur long-term relationship, have a link." - Are you sure?