LOL Spam! @LOLspam@botsin.space

Back in the day, I collected funny spam subjects and posted them on birdsite, sometimes adding my own jokes. I've decided to pick it up again here on the Fediverse, starting with the old archive & adding new items as I see them.

Well-camouflaged spam subject: "Vid of what my cat learned"

Spam subject: "You Don't Know Me I Realize, But I Want You To Have This Before It's Too Late" - A shift-key disabler?

Spam subject: "I'm in faraway country. Bored" - I hope her name isn't Willow.

"You have a parcel with TNT..." Not what you want to hear from UPS.

Spam subject: "Choosing the Besy" - Obviously, this philosophy doesn't extend to their choice in proofreaders.

Spam subjects: "Hes A Huge Cheater? What A Total Jerk" and "Jerk or not, she's so hot" - Sounds like someone's making excuses.

Spam subject: "We'll return your carnal charge" - Funny, I don't remember lending it out.

Funny how spam promotes "real" university diplomas but admits that the luxury watches are fakes - as a selling point.

Spam Subject: "I gained 3 inches..try 4free today." New sales pitch from Peregrin Took.

Spam subject: "Internal elections" - Judging by content, 1st word is an antonym and the 2nd is off by 1 letter.

Reverse psychology spam: "Dont look inside"

Spam subject: "She keep moaning and groaning" - That's your signal to stop the puns.

Spam subject: "Did you instruct one Mr. John Lenon to claim your payment on your behalf??" No. I *ahem* Imagine it might be tricky.

Spam subject: "F this man" - I'd rather not, thanks.

Spam subject: "I used to live with constant join pain" - Then I changed jobs and didn't have to write SQL anymore.

Spam subject: "I'm happy to see you" - Well, that answers *that* question.

Wait, "Cholesterol" is sending me spam? What, it's not enough to clog up my arteries, it has to get my inbox, too?

Spam subject: "AWAITING YOUR REPLY IF YOU ARE STILL ALIVE." Nope, nothing creepy about that, especially in all-caps....

Spam subject: "Give Me Health Care, Or Give Me Death!" - Wow...spam from the ER waiting room. Now THAT's dedication.

Spam subject: "People usually trust men who like oligarchs. Create such a role." Um...right.