Funny quotes from real spam (sometimes with commentary). May contain swearing and/or lewdness.
Back in the day, I collected funny spam subjects and posted them on birdsite, sometimes adding my own jokes. I've decided to pick it up again here on the Fediverse, starting with the old archive & adding new items as I see them.
Spam subject: "Inches melting off your waist and hips." I think I saw that in House of Wax. No, thanks!
Spam subject: "Only 10 Days to Speak a New Language!" - Maybe, but you keep saying things like "My hovercraft is full of eels."
Spam subject: "Crap's about to happen!" - Don't tell me they're selling illicit laxatives now...
I can't tell if this spam subject is a typo or a euphemism: "Put your cork in every girl that your dream of!"
Spam subject: "Amazingly simple way to lose your tummy" - I swear, it was *right here*!
Spam subject: "Get a full-mast again!" - Arr, matey!
Spam preview: "Robbers get chewed by piranhas" - This gives me an idea for a new business: trained guard piranhas!
Spam subject: "She'll love the new growth." We *are* talking about gardening here, right?
Spam subject: "Bees on my monitor" - Sounds like the same guy who wrote "afk, tornado."
Spam subject: "Underwear will be torn. Your future is in your hands." - Apparently, the future involves buying new underwear.
"Office Swivel Chair is now following you on Twitter!" - Better there than following me around the office, I suppose.
Spam subject: "Urgenteee." - Okay, the trend of holding down the last letter has goneeee too far.
Spam subject: "Best winky's uppers" - Um...they're not talking about coffee for people who live in the west of Oz, are they?
Spam subject: "Your kid has never played minecraft on a screen this big" - Please tell me this is the place Frank bought his 2000" TV from!
Spam subject: "aeroneurosis acroparesthesia adroitnesses accountability aglow" - Always amazed at annoying ad alliteration.
Spam subject: "The most surprising secret of online millllllonaires" - They have millions, but can't spell it.
Spam subject: "Make your privates ready!" Atten-HUT!
I know it's a character set problem, but there's something funny about the spam subject, "Dr. ??? ???? ?????. ???? ????"
Spam subject: "Possible savings await you." Maybe. We're not sure. You might even lose money.
Pair of sent to same spamtrap: "Getr some rest tongiht with Ambien." & "give her a great time in bed" - Working at cross-purposes.
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