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Back in the day, I collected funny spam subjects and posted them on birdsite, sometimes adding my own jokes. I've decided to pick it up again here on the Fediverse, starting with the old archive & adding new items as I see them.

Spam subjects: "Let's do it today," "Let's do it tomorrow" and "Let's do it on the weekend" - Sounds like someone's getting cold feet. Maybe they need one of those portable mini-heaters?

Spam subject: "Vulcanize in size and win your gf's favor" - It's the only logical course of action.

Spam subject: "Add a small raisin to your outlook and every man will be yours." I'm still not sure what this one *means.*

I keep thinking this spam subject is actually for parents: "Energy enough for many girls"

Spam subject: "Your soul sleeps." Eight hours a day, ten on weekends.

Nice try, Mr. Bad Credit Contract Phones...if that's really your name.

We will return to you the exciting feeling of mighty staying meatstick-champion

Spam subject: "infer bullshit Rudolph" - You're right; he obviously meant "Imply."

Quotes: "Upgrade your love factory" and "feel the powerful motor of desire embedded into your body"

Spam subject: "F this man" - I'd rather not, thanks.

Spam subject: "I'm in faraway country. Bored" - I hope her name isn't Willow.

Blogspam claiming "This will enable more clicks" promoting V-pills. I think they misspelled a word.

Spam subject: "We'll return your carnal charge" - Funny, I don't remember lending it out.

Spam subject: "Your tremendous penis will always be on her mind." O_o It reaches that far?!?!

Spam subject: "Ferrari pen will add a raisin to your businesslike outlook" - I still don't understand these. Thesaurus Fail?

Spam subject: "She loves it bigger and longer" ...so be sure to take her to the extended IMAX showing.

Don't you love it when scam emails start out with "this is not a scam?"

Astonishingly direct spam subject, unencumbered with excessive circumlocution: "Wanna get a larger boner?"

Spam subject: "Dear me, that evil car sensibly stung out of this suspicious slot tipps." - Umm, yeah, darn that car.

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