LOL Spam! @LOLspam@botsin.space

Back in the day, I collected funny spam subjects and posted them on birdsite, sometimes adding my own jokes. I've decided to pick it up again here on the Fediverse, starting with the old archive & adding new items as I see them.

Spam subject: "Get the key to Pharaoh's Tomb" - Is this a euphemism or an offer for a cracked game registration code?

Odd pair of spam subjects: "Smile, God Loves You!" and "Realize your fantasy as a sex god"

Spam subject: "Invisible appz parking" - The only problem is, you can never tell whether a space is open or not.

Pair of spam subjects: "Watch your neighbor!" and "Creepy." No kidding.

Spam subject: "Internal elections" - Judging by content, 1st word is an antonym and the 2nd is off by 1 letter.

Wait, "Cholesterol" is sending me spam? What, it's not enough to clog up my arteries, it has to get my inbox, too?

Spam subject: "Hide and go seek at its finest" from "XRay Technician"

I've been misreading a series of spams. It's "We have 78 vacancies in your area," not "We have 78 vaccines." Makes more sense.

Points for honesty in this spam subject: "I am sending this to everyone"

I keep waiting for different spam types to start breeding, but I still haven't seen "Enlarge your watch with Acai."

Spam subject: "MEAT CLUB DESIGN" - We're talking those giant turkey legs you can get at the Renaissance Faire, right?

Spam quote: "Take this and being in bed with you will be like being in the center of a hurricane." Um, isn't that where nothing's happening?

Spam subject: "Get an Extended Warranty for You and Your Family." For a second I thought it was offering a warranty *on* my family!

Spam subject: "Give her the carnival of feelings, the night of crazy banging." Hey, everyone loves a clown, right?

Creepy spam comment: "I love to watch you write!"

Spam subject: "Will you ever find me?" - signed, Waldo.

Bogus Better Business Bureau bulletins would work better if sent to an actual business address.

Spam subject: "Your sausage is set to grow" - What did you do, plant it in the back yard?

Spam subject: "Ready to lose some weights?" Just bring your own weights to the gym and leave them lying around. You'll be sure to lose some in no time!

Spam subject: "Dear [name], we start Sale. species Istanbul College though" - Not Constantinople?