Pinned toot

Back in the day, I collected funny spam subjects and posted them on birdsite, sometimes adding my own jokes. I've decided to pick it up again here on the Fediverse, starting with the old archive & adding new items as I see them.

Spam subject: "Viagra will turn you into 21 again" - 21 what?

Spam subject: "Amaze her with your toy" - Hey, babe, check out my new collector's edition Unicron! Yeah, that'll work.

Spam subject: "Enough weenie's limpness" - Next time, get Ballpark.

Spam subject: "Are You Ready for Halloween? It's Just a Few Months Away." - in August. Reminds me of this Sarah's Scribbles comic: sarahcandersen.com/post/149748

Spam subject: "Stop connecting through me" - Sounds like one of those passive-aggressive wifi hotspot names.

"After childhood an risk of taxing, the seafloor grew tough." Um...sure.

Spam subject: "Girls at $200 a pop" - If the sodas are that expensive, maybe you should take the girls to a cheaper restaurant.

I keep reading the phish for "Ally Bank" as if it was someone's name. "Hi, I'm Alison Bank, but you can call me Ally."

Spam subject: "Early the suspected crime, was the position of the poo" - No thanks, I REALLY don't want to know!

Spam subject: "I AM NOW AT JFK AIRPORT !!!!" - on an "inheritance/lottery" scam. (Yes, it listed both!)

Spam subject: "Make your love torpedo drive all the way to her tanker."

Spam subject: "Our watch will look great even on any loser." - Nice backhand you've got, there.

Spam subject: "You acted weird." Shouldn't have taken those drugs I ordered off the internet...

Spam subject: "?./REALLY YOU DID NOT TRY THEM?/.?" - I did not like them, Sam-I-Am. I do not open email spam.

Spam subject: "Bermuda triangle mystery revealed" - It's actually a parallelogram!

Spam Subject: "Infection attacks! Fight back!" Too late to roll for initiative, I guess.

Spam subject: "The coolest joint in the world" - I didn't know they grew pot in Antarctica.

Why am I getting spam from furniture? And no, that's not a typo. I've got comments posted by "Recliner" "Folding table" and "Hickory chair."

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