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Back in the day, I collected funny spam subjects and posted them on birdsite, sometimes adding my own jokes. I've decided to pick it up again here on the Fediverse, starting with the old archive & adding new items as I see them.

Spam subject: "How to make your girl...." I saw that on an old Star Trek episode.

This spam subject sounds like something out of Zork: "You have found a big treasure of cheap luxury watches."...all alike.

Spam subject: "Heart Under Construction" Please take detour through stomach.

I received a surprisingly honest message from "Spam Mail."

Spam subject: "Ways to make her horny" - I already tried giving her a Viking helmet. It didn't work.

Spam subject: "super prices await you. a aggression center Willis" - Wait, what *are* you talking about?

Spam subject: "With this, she'll always be satisfied" - What an odd way to advertise a lifetime supply of chocolate.

Spam subjects: "Best way to make love" and "Make love like a barbarian" - Are you sure that's the *best* way?

Spam subject: "Unbelievable savings on elegant watches." True. I certainly don't believe it.

"MY THIRD AND FINAL MAIL TO YOU" Really? Do you promise?

Spam subject: "Shoot harder and further with this" - I call her Vera.

Spam subject: "Jackson's back from Heaven" - Did he meet Elvis while he was there?

Spam subject shows that spell-check is not proofreading: "Channel replica wallets for the real connoisseurs of the fashion."

Spam subject: "Recently got a job offer? Enlarge your pole with wonder pills" - OK, it's 2 spams, but they were right next to each other.

Spam subject: "Your long tool will reach the bottom of the secret cave." - Sounds like you got your money's worth at the spelunking store.

"Treats blood pressure right!" - Because if you treat your blood pressure badly, it might leave you.

Spam subject: "Your fantastic device makes her shake" - It's called a blender...

Spam subject: "Upsize your sausage into a bratwurst" - Yeah, they're definitely talking about BBQ.

Spam subject: "Pilates with a punch" - No, those are *pirates*. (Don't feel bad. They had the same problem in Penzance: )

I assumed the "Update your Windows" spam was malware until I realized it was an ad for a building contractor.

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