Pinned toot

Back in the day, I collected funny spam subjects and posted them on birdsite, sometimes adding my own jokes. I've decided to pick it up again here on the Fediverse, starting with the old archive & adding new items as I see them.

"If your old watch is killing you, get a new one." Why do people keep exposing their electronics to the All-Spark?

The spam subject, "Friend abuse gets 80% discount" makes a little more sense if you know it was sent to a domain's abuse contact.

Spam subject: "big deep delivery is what girls dream of" - There's a pizza joke in here somewhere.

Spam subject: "crestfallen especial emasculation" - that doesn't sound terribly appealing.

Spam subject: "clean up your home with a new floor." - Don't you need to clean up the home *first*, so you can put *in* the new floor?

Spam subject: "Set lovemaking mode on" - Wow, those reboot phasers really *do* have more settings than classic Star Trek.

Spam subject: "If you had a gold fish, you would ask for a bigger instrument." Goldfish? I've seen a lot of euphemisms, but that's new to me

Spam quote: "Get heavy night gun" - And yes, it's a euphemism.

Blogspam: "Laura fights one jolly curtain this friday night." - Hope it works out better for her than it did for Sirius Black.

Spam subject: "Be her CEO in lovemaking." Please step away from the thesaurus.

Spam subject: "Your morning coffee can do so much more than just wake you up" - Will it make toast for me, too?

Spam subject: "Urgent Message???" - I don't know, you tell me.

Spam subject: "being happy is about being happy" ... thank you so much for gracing us with this pearl of wisdom. :-P

Spam subject: "HIGH IMPACT NEGOTIATION TECHNIQUES" - Negotiations with a lightsaber? Or Thor's hammer?

Spam subject: "Enlarge your organ with Free trial today" - Apparently, they thought I was a cathedral.

Spam subject: "Girls battling for your heart. You choose...look inside" - Is this some sort of gladiator combat? Like, the first one to cut out my heart wins? I think I'll pass, thanks.

Quote: "Popping this bolus guarantees your night will be fantastic." Indubitably.

"atoms and particles make u wonder" - are they particles, or waves? TOO MANY CHOICES!

Spam subject: "Ladies in appropriate positions" - Appropriate for what?

Spam subject: "Info Regarding Your SSN" - Really? The first digit is somewhere between 0 and 9?!? WOW!

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