Pinned toot

Back in the day, I collected funny spam subjects and posted them on birdsite, sometimes adding my own jokes. I've decided to pick it up again here on the Fediverse, starting with the old archive & adding new items as I see them.

Spam: "The Secret dentist don't want you know about teeth whitening" - Who is this secret dentist, and why doesn't she like white teeth?

Competing spammers: "Bamboo flooring. A great alternative to wood" and "Better homes with wood floors"

Spam subject: "Delightful software magazine" - Bit too much wishful thinking here.

Spam subject: "Don't pay anything for your pills for 15 days" On day 16, we break your kneecaps.

Spam subject: "Find your confidence today" - I know I left it around here somewhere. Didn't I?

Spam subject: "With that classy watch your elegance can beat anybody."

Blogspam: "1863031 beers on the wall." That's going to take a loooong time to sing.

Spam Subject: "Infection attacks! Fight back!" Too late to roll for initiative, I guess.

Spam subject: "super prices await you. a aggression center Willis" - Wait, what *are* you talking about?

Spam subject: "disagreed beverage's Hades" - I've had the occasional beverage that disagreed with me hellishly. Why are you *selling* them?

I keep waiting for different spam types to start breeding, but I still haven't seen "Enlarge your watch with Acai."

Looks like vampires get body-part enhancement spam too: "Your woman will be shocked by your fang's astonishing progress."

Spam preview: "Robbers get chewed by piranhas" - This gives me an idea for a new business: trained guard piranhas!

Spam subject: "How to grab boobies" - I think more men need directions for how NOT to grab them.

Blog spam: "Terrific, that's scrupulously what I was seeking quest of! You righteous spared me alot of work" - Put the thesaurus away, sir!

Spam subject: "Very Uregnt" - too urgent for spell-check, it seems.

Spam preview: "Robbers get chewed by piranhas" - This gives me an idea for a new business: trained guard piranhas!

Spam subject: "PLEASE HELP US STOP SCAM" - Have you tried hypnosis? I hear it's good for fighting compulsions and bad habits.

Spam subject: "MOVING SEX MACHINE" - Wait, so they *are* moving furniture around up there? I'm so confused!

Oddly, I can often tell what foreign-language spam is selling (if it has Latin letters). Call it an immersion program in "Spamish."

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