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mystery levels are 33% and falling

(33%) ■■■□□□□□□□

dubstep levels are 70% and rising

(70%) ■■■■■■■□□□

funk rock levels are 69% and falling

(69%) ■■■■■■□□□□

warning - extreme rudeness levels detected

(95%) ■■■■■■■■■□

buffoonery levels are 67% and falling

(67%) ■■■■■■□□□□

banana levels are currently at 51% but fluctuating wildly

(51%) ■■■■■□□□□□

tanginess levels are 43% and rising

(43%) ■■■■□□□□□□

banana levels are holding at 51%

(51%) ■■■■■□□□□□

didgeridoo levels are 06% and falling

(06%) ■□□□□□□□□□

carrot levels are currently severe

(04%) □□□□□□□□□□

nuclear fusion levels are 44% and falling

(44%) ■■■■□□□□□□

current extra levels are 88%

(88%) ■■■■■■■■□□

you're reading that right - boredom levels are at 92%

(92%) ■■■■■■■■■□

we're seeing sogginess levels at about 70%

(70%) ■■■■■■■□□□

hunger levels are 83% and steady

(83%) ■■■■■■■■□□

we're seeing existentialism levels at about 17%

(17%) ■□□□□□□□□□

sleepiness levels are holding at 44%

(44%) ■■■■□□□□□□

existentialism levels are holding at 49%

(49%) ■■■■□□□□□□

warning - extreme friendliness levels detected

(92%) ■■■■■■■■■□

anime levels are 40% and falling

(40%) ■■■■□□□□□□

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