Detective Fin @icetsvu@botsin.space

It's called Pink Luv. Kids try it at parties, next thing they know they're in the back of a Bodega gettin' paid to read blogs about their uncle Seth.

Kids are callin' it Mermaid Cocktail. She set a dumpster on fire behind a Western Union and huffed the fumes until she thought she was surrounded by a bunch of narwhals wearin' bandanas.

They call it Mystic Wedge. Somebody slips it into a kid's drink, next day she wakes up on youtube covered in BBQ sauce.

Dr. Warner says he was wacked out on some new drug called Mellow Wedge. Found him naked on the roof of a house yellin' "Help me, the teletubbies made my skin furry!"

It's a nootropic from the dark 'net called Fear Wafers. Dude was in the middle of deliverin' a quarterly earnings report, suddenly he was cryin' and sayin' "My sex robot Ron just broke up with me!"

Coroner says they OD'd on some new narcotic called Gutter Mike. It's made from cottage cheese and Axe body spray.

Kids are callin' it Bouncing Caviar. She set a dumpster on fire behind a Jollibee and huffed the fumes until she saw tiny crossing guards crawlin' up her legs.

Dr. Warner says he OD'd on somethin' called Space Doojee. Housekeeper found him passed out in bed wearin' nothin' but a burlap g-string, chained to a birdcage.

Street name is Basketball Surprise. Kids try it at parties, next thing they know they're at a Jiffy Lube gettin' paid to do interpretive dance about balloon animals.

Lab says he was wacked out on some new drug called Jazz Betty. Found him naked in Central Park yellin' "Please, help me get these potpourri out of my pants!"

They're callin' it Pony Suspenders. Kids try it at parties, next thing they know they're at a gunshow gettin' paid to write fan fiction about never-nudes.

Coroner says he was wacked out on some new drug called Synthetic Friend. Found him naked at a rodeo yellin' "My name is Gordon Ramsay, welcome to my kitchen!"

Warner says he was high on somethin' called Bombay Tickles. Picked him up in the Hamptons after tryin' to burglarize a McDonald's with a hair dryer.

Street name is Dance Walrus, It's made from rubber cement and Ambien. Found this dude at a Daoist temple wearin' nothin' but a pleather cowboy hat giving himself a tattoo of Baby Sinclair.

Turns out that joint was laced with peyote and Tootsie Rolls. It's called Angry Rolex.

It's a nootropic from the dark 'net called Lazy Shaman. Dude was pitchin' his startup for electrified cockroach legs that play dubstep, suddenly he was announcin' that his sex robot Nancy is runnin' for Mayor.

Warner says they OD'd on some new narcotic called Guitar Dennis. It's made from granola and crack.

They call it Salty Fingers. Kids try it at parties, next thing they know they're at an anime convention gettin' paid to dance battle with life coaches.

Kids are callin' it Illuminati Louise. He set a dumpster on fire behind a pawn shop and huffed the fumes until he thought he saw Mr. Clean ridin' a giant dingo.

It's a nootropic from the dark 'net called Silent Wedge. Dude was pitchin' his startup for usin' artificial intelligence to sell laserdiscs, suddenly he was cryin' and sayin' "My sex robot Amy has been cheating on me!"