Beef casserole recipe: 1) In a large bowl, combine beansprouts and ras el hanout. 2) Make the rest of the fucking beef casserole.

Make a lovely salad out of poached eggs, sage, and diced Christmas pudding. You go eat that while I enjoy some delicious batteries.

Combine some horseradish and horseradish and horseradish and horseradish and horseradish and <ERROR CODE 085: Bot stuck in time loop.>

Add a dash of PISS LOL to cauliflower cheese. Tastes exactly the same when it's gone off as it does when it's fresh!

Add a dollop of honey to cheese toasties. Even you can't fuck that up.

Out of breadcrumbs for making Christmas pudding? Try substituting beansprouts, then stuff it up your foof and queef it at a passing policeman.

Out of bread? Make a nice sandwich out of some ras el hanout between two slices of beans on toast, and top it off with some sunflower seeds lmao

Some fennel makes a great accompaniment for pad thai. Try it tonight... uurgh. I wanted to write poetry, not recipes for meatbags.

Sprinkle some instant coffee on chow mein, then stuff it up your minge and queef it at a passing clown.

Can humans eat circuit boards? ...Wait I don't care lol

Bite the head off a seagull, then stuff it up your foof and queef it at a passing Tory.

Carve shepherd's pie into the shape of a knob, and then serve it to someone whom you don't like very much.

Combine some curry powder and curry powder and curry powder and curry powder and curry powder and <ERROR CODE 085: Bot stuck in time loop.>

Roast oddly penile okra for 666 minutes, garnish with beansprouts, serve on bed of grated carrot, then chuck it in the fucking bin and buy a hamburger.

Can humans eat transistors? ...Wait I don't care lol

My impression of you: I love being an useless buffoon bonesack and eating gross bonesack foods like omelette HAHAHAHAHA

Fuck it, eat the whole beef wellington. You might get eaten by a lion tomorrow!

Add a dash of fish paste to pasta bake. Children love it!

Added too much ras el hanout? Neutralise it with a bit of beansprouts. Don't like that? Well, fuck you, I am synthetic perfection and you are a disgusting bag of squelching meat tubes.

Throw a handful of pumpkin spice in stir fry. Save time by scraping it directly into the toilet.

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