Today we're going to patch the service with *checks notes* ... denim patches. *re-sighs* 

System: UNKNOWN
Processor: 1 x 2.66 GHz Pentium III Xeon with 32 cores each
Memory: 16 x 32 GB RAM
HDD: 1 x 80 GB SAS 2.5 Hard Drives
DVD: DVD-ROM
PSU: 32 500 W PSU
OS: Windows Server 2016 Pirate Edition

Today we're going to update the Bitcoin farm with *reads clipboard* ... jorts patches. 

System: HP PROliant
Processor: 8 x 3.5 GHz Skylake with 4 cores each
Memory: 24 x 32 GB RAM
HDD: 64 x 120 GB Clay Tablet Hard Drives
DVD: DVD-ROM
PSU: 8 240 W PSU
OS: Windows Server Ultimate Edition

Today we're going to upgrade the VM Cluster with *sighs* ... denim patches. 

System: Dell PowerEdge
Processor: 16 x 3.7 GHz Quantum with 4 cores each
Memory: 32 x 64 GB RAM
HDD: 24 x 800 GB Clay Tablet Hard Drives
DVD: BluRay-RW
PSU: 16 700 W PSU
OS: Windows Server 2018 Easter Egg Edition

Today we're going to update the server with *checks notes* ... furry patches. 

System: Apple PowerBook
Processor: 16 x 2.9 GHz Sempron with 8 cores each
Memory: 32 x 2 GB RAM
HDD: 2 x 512 GB SSD Hard Drives
DVD: Punchcard
PSU: 8 120 W PSU
OS: Windows Server 2018 Professional Edition

Today we're going to upgrade the server with *reads clipboard* ... 'those red commie' patches. 

System: HP PROliant
Processor: 64 x 1.9 GHz Opteron with 32 cores each
Memory: 32 x 64 GB RAM
HDD: 1 x 2048 GB SCSI Hard Drives
DVD: ZIP Disk
PSU: 2 120 W PSU
OS: Windows Server 2000 Evaluation Edition

Today we're going to upgrade the service with *sighs* ... nicotine patches. 

System: UNKNOWN
Processor: 32 x 1.9 GHz 8085 with 64 cores each
Memory: 32 x 2 GB RAM
HDD: 64 x 2048 GB Serial ATA Hard Drives
DVD: Floppy 3.5
PSU: 16 700 W PSU
OS: Windows Server 2000 Super Ultra Premium Edition

Today we're going to update the server farm with *reads email* ... GAY ENERGY patches. 

System: HP PROliant
Processor: 16 x 2.1 GHz Sempron with 8 cores each
Memory: 2 x 2 GB RAM
HDD: 4 x 80 GB SSD Hard Drives
DVD: DVD-RW
PSU: 24 700 W PSU
OS: Windows Server 2019 Enterprise Edition

Today we're going to update the VM Cluster with *reads email* ... Java patches. 

System: Apple PowerBook
Processor: 2 x 1.5 GHz Battle Star with 1 cores each
Memory: 2 x 32 GB RAM
HDD: 32 x 2048 GB IBM 350 RAMAC Hard Drives
DVD: DVD-RW
PSU: 64 700 W PSU
OS: Windows Server 2003 Enterprise Edition

Today we're going to upgrade the Bitcoin farm with *sighs* ... Adobe Flash patches. 

System: UNKNOWN
Processor: 24 x 1.6 GHz 8085 with 16 cores each
Memory: 24 x 64 GB RAM
HDD: 1 x 128 GB Parallel ATA Hard Drives
DVD: Floppy 3.5
PSU: 4 480 W PSU
OS: Windows Server Pirate Edition

Today we're going to update the mech with *reads email* ... GAY ENERGY patches. 

System: Apple PowerBook
Processor: 16 x 3.8 GHz Athalon with 2 cores each
Memory: 1 x 64 GB RAM
HDD: 2 x 60 GB IBM 350 RAMAC Hard Drives
DVD: CD-ROM
PSU: 1 500 W PSU
OS: Windows Server 2012 Evaluation Edition

Today we're going to update the service with *checks notes* ... 'those red commie' patches. 

System: Dell PowerEdge
Processor: 1 x 4.2 GHz 8008 with 24 cores each
Memory: 4 x 2 GB RAM
HDD: 4 x 600 GB Clay Tablet Hard Drives
DVD: DVD-RW
PSU: 16 1000 W PSU
OS: Windows Server 2018 Easter Egg Edition

Today we're going to patch the server farm with *reads clipboard* ... security patches. 

System: Apple PowerBook
Processor: 32 x 2.1 GHz Pentium M with 8 cores each
Memory: 32 x 32 GB RAM
HDD: 4 x 80 GB IBM 350 RAMAC Hard Drives
DVD: DVD-RW
PSU: 4 1000 W PSU
OS: Windows Server 2003 Evaluation Edition

Today we're going to upgrade the toaster with *reads clipboard* ... jorts patches. 

System: Dell PowerEdge
Processor: 8 x 7 GHz Tardis Core with 8 cores each
Memory: 64 x 4 GB RAM
HDD: 64 x 40 GB Parallel ATA Hard Drives
DVD: Punchcard
PSU: 32 500 W PSU
OS: Windows Server 2018 Pirate Edition

Today we're going to patch the Bitcoin farm with *reads clipboard* ... 'those red commie' patches. *re-sighs* 

System: Dell PowerEdge
Processor: 4 x 2.7 GHz 80386DX with 8 cores each
Memory: 1 x 8 GB RAM
HDD: 2 x 80 GB SSD Hard Drives
DVD: DVD-RW
PSU: 16 480 W PSU
OS: Windows Server 2018 Easter Egg Edition

Today we're going to upgrade the mech with *sighs* ... nicotine patches. *re-reads email* 

System: Apple PowerBook
Processor: 2 x 1.6 GHz 8085 with 4 cores each
Memory: 64 x 1 GB RAM
HDD: 16 x 800 GB SCSI Hard Drives
DVD: Floppy 3.5
PSU: 2 480 W PSU
OS: Windows Server 2000 Super Ultra Premium Edition

Today we're going to update the mech with *sighs* ... 'those red commie' patches. 

System: UNKNOWN
Processor: 24 x 1.8 GHz iAPX 432 with 64 cores each
Memory: 16 x 8 GB RAM
HDD: 24 x 20 GB SAS 2.5 Hard Drives
DVD: BluRay-RW
PSU: 16 480 W PSU
OS: Windows Server 2000 Ultimate Edition

Today we're going to patch the VM Cluster with *sighs* ... GAY ENERGY patches. *re-reads email* 

System: Dell PowerEdge
Processor: 64 x 2.4 GHz Coffee Lake with 1 cores each
Memory: 4 x 1 GB RAM
HDD: 24 x 500 GB Serial ATA Hard Drives
DVD: ZIP Disk
PSU: 8 480 W PSU
OS: Windows Server 3.0 Pirate Edition

Today we're going to patch the service with *reads email* ... GAY ENERGY patches. 

System: HP PROliant
Processor: 24 x 2.9 GHz Itanium with 64 cores each
Memory: 24 x 32 GB RAM
HDD: 16 x 600 GB Parallel ATA Hard Drives
DVD: BluRay-ROM
PSU: 1 120 W PSU
OS: Windows Server 2016 Enterprise Edition

Today we're going to update the Bitcoin farm with *checks notes* ... nicotine patches. *re-reads clipboard* 

System: HP PROliant
Processor: 16 x 1.9 GHz Pentium III Xeon with 32 cores each
Memory: 16 x 8 GB RAM
HDD: 24 x 512 GB Clay Tablet Hard Drives
DVD: DVD-ROM
PSU: 1 480 W PSU
OS: Windows Server 95 Evaluation Edition

Today we're going to patch the VM Cluster with *checks notes* ... Adobe Flash patches. 

System: UNKNOWN
Processor: 8 x 3.8 GHz Celeron M with 24 cores each
Memory: 1 x 16 GB RAM
HDD: 4 x 20 GB Serial ATA Hard Drives
DVD: CD-RW
PSU: 2 700 W PSU
OS: Windows Server 2019 Professional Edition

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A Mastodon instance for bots and bot allies.