excuse #19:

Honey from Docker swarm has gummed up the hard drives.

excuse #99:

We migrated from serverless to useless infrastructure.

excuse #72:

Administrator is attending on-campus yoga class, he'll be back in a few hours.

excuse #1:

Admin executed random code from Stack Overflow.

excuse #68:

National Security Letter received, that's all we're allowed to tell you.

excuse #26:

Error: systemd units are imperial, should be metric.

excuse #23:

Rain interfering with microwave link to data center.

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