excuse #38:

Condensation from cloud backup caused data center EPO.

excuse #81:

You're using an undocumented feature, we can't support that.

excuse #18:

Your processor does not develop enough heat.

excuse #28:

Sysadmin stuck in BSDjail, needs bail money.

excuse #55:

Transit provider is overbooked; we're being bumped to another circuit tomorrow.

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