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Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.

Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.

Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can make a class that is both abstract and final.

There is no April 1st in Chuck Norris' calendar, because no one can fool him.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse kick you in the face.

With Chuck Norris P = NP. There's no nondeterminism with Chuck Norris decisions.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Don't worry about tests, Chuck Norris's test cases cover your code too.

After returning from World War 2 unscrathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.

Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

The phrase 'break a leg' was originally coined by Chuck Norris's co-stars in Walker, Texas Ranger as a good luck charm, indicating that a broken leg might be the worst extent of their injuries. This never proved to be the case.

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