Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.

Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head.

Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.

Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There was never anything wrong with Achilles' heel until he got mad and decided to kick Chuck Norris.

Each hair in Chuck Norris's beard contributes to make the world's largest DDOS.

Chuck Norris' programs never exit, they terminate.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

To Chuck Norris, everything contains a vulnerability.

Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.

Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face.

MySpace actually isn't your space, it's Chuck's (he just lets you use it).

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.

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