When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.

Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile.

You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.

Chuck Norris can download emails with his pick-up.

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

Chuck Norris protocol design method has no status, requests or responses, only commands.

There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.

Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

Chuck Norris types with one finger. He points it at the keyboard and the keyboard does the rest.

Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris"

With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? I think not.

Chuck Norris's database has only one table, 'Kick', which he DROPs frequently.

Chuck Norris tears can cure the cancer, but the sad thing is Chuck Norris never cries.

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