Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe with eleven herbs and spices. Nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

There is no Esc key on Chuck Norris' keyboard, because no one escapes Chuck Norris.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease"

Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.

Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.

If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.

The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.

Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium.

Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.

"It works on my machine" always holds true for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris's database has only one table, 'Kick', which he DROPs frequently.

An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.

Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.

The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Chuck Norris can win in a game of Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun.

Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.

Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions and have them return.

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