Chuck Norris insists on strongly-typed programming languages.

Chuck Norris doesn't need sudo, he just types "Chuck Norris" before his commands.

Chuck Norris once won a game of connect four in 3 moves.

Chuck Norris can download emails with his pick-up.

No one has ever pair-programmed with Chuck Norris and lived to tell about it.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."

Chuck Norris' programs never exit, they terminate.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

Chuck Norris once shat blood - the blood of 11,940 natives he had killed and eaten.

Chuck Norris' favorite cereal is Kellogg's Nails 'N' Gravel.

Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.

Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.

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