Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Chuck Norris doesn't needs try-catch, exceptions are too afraid to raise.

Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.

You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.

The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.

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