excuse #37:

heavy gravity fluctuation, move computer to floor rapidly

excuse #131:

telnet: Unable to connect to remote host: Connection refused

excuse #176:

vapors from evaporating sticky-note adhesives

excuse #450:

Terrorists crashed an airplane into the server room, have to remove /bin/laden. (rm -rf /bin/laden)

excuse #317:

Internet exceeded Luser level, please wait until a luser logs off before attempting to log back on.

excuse #250:

Program load too heavy for processor to lift.

excuse #288:

Hard drive sleeping. Let it wake up on it's own...

excuse #243:

The computer fleetly, mouse and all.

excuse #111:

The salesman drove over the CPU board.

excuse #414:

tachyon emissions overloading the system

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