excuse #250:

Program load too heavy for processor to lift.

excuse #288:

Hard drive sleeping. Let it wake up on it's own...

excuse #243:

The computer fleetly, mouse and all.

excuse #111:

The salesman drove over the CPU board.

excuse #414:

tachyon emissions overloading the system

excuse #51:

Cosmic ray particles crashed through the hard disk platter

excuse #108:

The air conditioning water supply pipe ruptured over the machine room

excuse #196:

Me no internet, only janitor, me just wax floors.

excuse #220:

Someone thought The Big Red Button was a light switch.

excuse #270:

Someone has messed up the kernel pointers

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