excuse #248:

Too much radiation coming from the soil.

excuse #188:

..disk or the processor is on fire.

excuse #154:

You can tune a file system, but you can't tune a fish (from most tunefs man pages)

excuse #432:

Borg nanites have infested the server

excuse #262:

Our POP server was kidnapped by a weasel.

excuse #232:

Ionization from the air-conditioning

excuse #210:

We didn't pay the Internet bill and it's been cut off.

excuse #324:

Your packets were eaten by the terminator

excuse #369:

Virus transmitted from computer to sysadmins.

excuse #242:

Software uses US measurements, but the OS is in metric...

excuse #452:

Somebody ran the operating system through a spelling checker.

excuse #372:

Forced to support NT servers; sysadmins quit.

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