excuse #383:

Your processor has taken a ride to Heaven's Gate on the UFO behind Hale-Bopp's comet.

excuse #435:

Internet shut down due to maintenance

excuse #451:

astropneumatic oscillations in the water-cooling

excuse #324:

Your packets were eaten by the terminator

excuse #262:

Our POP server was kidnapped by a weasel.

excuse #392:

It's union rules. There's nothing we can do about it. Sorry.

excuse #380:

Operators killed when huge stack of backup tapes fell over.

excuse #283:

Lawn mower blade in your fan need sharpening

excuse #103:

operators on strike due to broken coffee machine

excuse #376:

Budget cuts forced us to sell all the power cords for the servers.

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