Pinned toot

Order. Here is a picture of me yelling “Order!” riding high upon a giant flying flamingo over parliament like Daenerys Targaryen on her dragon.

All credit goes to Jim'll Paint It:

Pinned toot

Order. ORDERRRRRRR!! Conversations regularly take place between Members on respective Benches. I am not complaining about that. I simply thought it right that the conversation should be concluded and the interrogation could then continue, because that would seem to be a courteous way in which to proceed.

Order. As expected, a very large number of Members are seeking to catch my eye. I would like to accommodate as many as I can, but I remind the House that there is a further ministerial statement to follow, another piece of business that may be short but is uncertain in length, and then a very heavily subscribed summer Adjournment debate.

ORDER! I am sorry to disappoint remaining colleagues, but we must now move on.

Order! We must hear the hon. Member for Wimbledon.

Order. It was a great pleasure for me to be able to present the hon. Lady her award, courtesy of the Political Studies Association, as Back Bencher of the year—a recognition of her extraordinarily diligent and effective parliamentary campaigning, specifically on the contaminated blood scandal.

Order! Just before I call the right hon. Member for Cynon Valley, I hope the whole House, and everybody present in the Palace of Westminster, will want to join me in congratulating the right hon. Lady on her birthday.

Order. ORDERRRRRRR!! Let me be absolutely clear: nothing disorderly has occurred. People have free speech within the rules of the House. I will adjudicate the enforcement of those rules. Nothing disorderly has taken place, and I certainly do not require any assistance from occupants of the Treasury Bench.

Order. ORDERRRRRRR!! The great likelihood—I await further comment, but I think that I can say this without fear of contradiction—is that there will be further opportunities for these matters to be debated, but in the immediate term, please, let us have some courtesy. There will be further debate on these matters, of that I think we can be sure.

Order. I know that the hon. Gentleman is more than capable of looking after himself, so this is no disrespect to him, but he must be heard and he will be heard.

Order. ORDER!!!! I am extremely grateful to the hon. Gentleman. As I announced earlier, and it was supported by colleagues across the House, I propose that we hold a minute’s silence at 11 am.

Order. I know that the hon. Gentleman was trying very hard, but—forgive me: I say this by way of kindly counsel to the hon. Gentleman, who is a new Member—questions must be about the policies of the Government, as the Clerk has just swivelled round to remind me, and not about the policies or tactics of the Opposition. We will leave that there, and come to Helen Goodman.

Order. I have just been advised that the hon. Member for Chippenham is not here. She has not yet been able to access the building. If she gets here later, I will try to accommodate her, but it means for the time being that the grouping falls.

Order. I was rather hoping that the hon. Gentleman was going to furnish us with the page reference in “The Wealth of Nations”.

Order! I am extremely grateful to the hon. Gentleman. As I announced earlier, and it was supported by colleagues across the House, I propose that we hold a minute’s silence at 11 am.

Order. ORDERRRRRRR!! Sit down. What I want is a single-sentence question. Forgive me, but these prepared screeds are too long, and they are not fair to colleagues—a single sentence, and then sit down.

ORDER! After the next speaker, the time limit will have to be reduced to five minutes.

Order! Do be quiet, it is awfully boring and terribly juvenile— Order. The Prime Minister was heard, and overwhelmingly with courtesy. The same will apply in respect of the Leader of the Opposition. It does not matter how long it takes; I have all the time in the day. That is what will happen. Please try to grasp this rather simple truth.

Order. This is the second of four ministerial statements to the House today. Notwithstanding its immense importance, and in the interests of accommodating subsequent business, I appeal to colleagues not to preface their questions with mini-speeches, but simply to ask a pithy question.

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