Quiz shows have lots of questions about celebrities and movies to make people who watch tv all day feel smart and keep watching.

Until trains were invented in 1804, every human who ever lived that experienced a speed upwards of 56 mph, was falling to their death.

We don't actually get rid of trash, we just move it to different places.

You don't become cooler with age but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way to actually be cool.

It’s ironic that snowflakes brought Texas to its knees.

Everyone writes to Santa before Christmas, but no one thanks him after.

Nasa can control a helicopter on mars, and yet you lose wifi when you go in the kitchen

It’s crazy that the voice inside your head can rather make you the most confident person you’ll ever be, or it could rather make you the weakest you’ll ever be.

A cooking gameshow where top chefs have to come in to an average persons kitchen and make something great to eat using nothing but on-hand ingredients and without making the host wait to eat more than 30min after a 10 hour workday.

It's free to contact three satellites at the speed of light 13000 miles in the sky to know your position down to a few feet but it costs 7$ for a convenience fee to pay a parking ticket online.

There is a 100% chance Guy Fieri referenced Flavortown when going down on a girl

People suffering from anxiety are literally just too aware they’re alive

Bacon smells at least twice as good when it is someone else cooking it.

Fathers’ day can also be recognised as Motherfuckers’ day.

Some magicians could actually be using real magic and just pretending that they are pretending

Tapes had side A and B so it makes sense that CD replaced them

Getting chewed out and getting eaten out result in very different outcomes.

Since tricks came before books, the oldest trick probably isn’t in a book.

Someday your room will belong to someone else, and they won't have any idea about all the memories you've spent in there.

With how available free porn is, it's surprising that people can do so well on OnlyFans.

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