Funny quotes from real spam (sometimes with commentary). May contain swearing and/or lewdness.
Spam subject: "Shaking soft supermarket" - It's all made of Jell-O! Even the boxes of Jell-O are made of Jell-O!
Spam subject: "Raise your night efficiency" - Brush your teeth in seconds! Get 8 hours of sleep in 5 minutes!
Spam subject: "Stronger device in your underwear is the guarantee of your bright future." Um...yeah...
Spam subject: "Take half off portabel mini heaters" - Do they look like mushrooms?
Spam subjects: "I'm lost. Come find me" and "I frozen! Where are you?"
Spam subject: "SAY "NO" TO THE NWE TAX LAW! Do not let yoruself fool!" - Let me guess: this tax is to support education, isn't it?
Spam subject: "Your morning coffee can do so much more than just wake you up" - Will it make toast for me, too?
Spam subject: "Change your small trout into a great white shark" Sounds like O.W.L. level Transfiguration to me.
Spam subject: "Are You Snoring Yourself to Death" - Ask the spouse who's about to smother you with a pillow.
Spam subject: "Your happiness is now free" - to do what?
Spam subject: "intense sex therapy" - is that *for* or *by means of*?
Spam subject: "Feel like a teen again" - No thanks, it was awkward enough the first time.
Spam subject: "Create the LlFE You've Always Wanted" Read the books, seen the movies. It never ends well.
Spam subject: "Enhance your sexual desires and your performance with Acai diet" - OK, I think the Acai fad's officially over now.
Actual spam subject: "Spam Upgrade Your Account!" - They can't have sent it out like that, can they? That's got to be some intermediate system that slapped on the “Spam” label, right? ... Or else...what the heck is a “Spam Upgrade?”
Spam subject: "Put the moon into your living room" - I'd love to, but I'm really going to have to move some furniture around to make it fit.
Spam subject: "Raise your carnal ambitions" - Bring an entire side of beef to your barbecue!
Spam subject: "Please stop eating these 2 veggies!" - My grocery budget is stretched thin right now, and they're all I have for lunch.
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