Pinned toot

Back in the day, I collected funny spam subjects and posted them on birdsite, sometimes adding my own jokes. I've decided to pick it up again here on the Fediverse, starting with the old archive & adding new items as I see them.

Spam subject: "The best way to prove your virility is getting a Submariner SS watch" Really? I can think of some MUCH more effective methods

Spam subject: "Put the moon into your living room" - I'd love to, but I'm really going to have to move some furniture around to make it fit.

Spam subject: "Make your wife happier today." Take out the trash and offer to do the dishes?

Spam subject: "Do you have little Michelangelo running around your home?" - If so, tell him to come home, it's time for dinner.

Spam subject: "Please stop eating these 2 veggies!" - My grocery budget is stretched thin right now, and they're all I have for lunch.

Spam subject: "Fastest Way to Find New Customers" - I think I saw this in a Looney Tunes cartoon. It involved a sign that said "Free Beer."

This spammer knows how to entice me: "It sounds silly, but read"

This spammer failed geography: "Music mania arrives in Beijing africa"

Spam Subject: "I gained 3 inches..try 4free today." New sales pitch from Peregrin Took.

Spam subject: "Girls are waiting to become yours if you have something to show them." That would be the watch, right?

Spam subject: "Bring back the fire" - Yeah, this microwave stuff tastes nasty.

Spam Subject: "Message from god" - Spamusement said it better than I can:

Spam subject: "Crisis have weakened your wallet?" For a second I thought they meant comic book crossovers with too many tie-ins.

Spam subject: "Make your wife happier today." Take out the trash and offer to do the dishes?

Spam subject: "Get your own bot" Just click here, and we'll even install it for you, free of charge!

Spam subject: "HEAR MY CRY" - Hey, do I look like Cupid to you?

Spam subject: "amplify your cock. today! science has proven it" - Wait, it makes noise? I never noticed! Honey, do we have a microphone?

Spam subject: "Be rock hard and ready all day" - That doesn't sound practical.

Spam subject: "Pass the time of day with My new address" - That seems kind of familiar...

Lonely spammer: "Take me with you!" No, thank you!

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