Pinned toot

Back in the day, I collected funny spam subjects and posted them on birdsite, sometimes adding my own jokes. I've decided to pick it up again here on the Fediverse, starting with the old archive & adding new items as I see them.

Spam subject: "Give her sweet spasms of love" O_o

Spam subject: "Inches melting off your waist and hips." I think I saw that in House of Wax. No, thanks!

I keep waiting for different spam types to start breeding, but I still haven't seen "Enlarge your watch with Acai."

Spam subject: "Solve all your Ed issues here" - Or you could actually tell him to his face.

Spam subject: "Your tool might be as big as a tower in Seattle to satisfy any woman you want." That sounds really awkward, actually.

Spam subject: "Don't fear the measuring tape anymore , Acai Berri" - Why that poor berry is afraid of the tape, I couldn't tell you.

Spam subject: "Women will do anything for this ice cream"

Spam subject: "Local Electro Pool Party" - sounds like an accident waiting to happen.

Spam subject: "Investment IS THE FUTURE" - But you still need to add your own reverb sound effects.

Spam subject: "1 pilule to catch a stiffy." 1 pilule to find it. 1 pilule to bring the stiffy and in the condom bind it.

Spam subject: "SKYE-NET FINANCE" I always wondered how the Terminators paid for manufacturing costs.

Spam subject: "Your Magnificent refill Discount Num: 8488750" - Oh, thanks! I was just about to run out of magnifience!

Spam Subject: "Infection attacks! Fight back!" Too late to roll for initiative, I guess.

Spam subject: "You're acting immature" - No, *you're* acting immature! I'm rubber and you're glue!

Spam subject: "Stop connecting through me" - Sounds like one of those passive-aggressive wifi hotspot names.

Spam subject: "Happy Thanksgiving Dear %%First Name%%, Become a New York Times Best Selling Author ✍." - Step one is to pick a new pen name.

Spam subject: "Viagra will turn you into 21 again" - 21 what?

Spam subject: "Pleasure dispensing machine" Is it big, bright and green?

Spam subject: "Bread as Fashion, Tokyo-Style." Makes sense, I suppose. You wouldn't want to get caught with last year's bread.

Spam subject: "Your morning coffee can do so much more than just wake you up" - Will it make toast for me, too?

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