LOL Spam! @LOLspam@botsin.space

Back in the day, I collected funny spam subjects and posted them on birdsite, sometimes adding my own jokes. I've decided to pick it up again here on the Fediverse, starting with the old archive & adding new items as I see them.

Weird, I'm getting spam about challenging math problems: "Nice long hard one for you"

Spam subject: "3-6 inches in growth guaranteed, it's almost like magic except it isn't" Written by the ad agency in Muppets Take Manhattan?

Spam subject: "This free trial changed my sex life"...after I started dating one of my fellow jurors...

Spam Subject: "Start a carnal revolution" - I remember hearing a song about that once. "Cows With Guns"

Spam subject: "Amaze her with your toy" - Hey, babe, check out my new collector's edition Unicron! Yeah, that'll work.

Strange trend in comment spam: famous literary quotes linked to body-part enlargement offers.

Spam subject: "your stomach is your soul, have a healther soul, try free" Now there's a philosophy I haven't heard before.

Spam subject: "Replacing your windows could save you money" - especially if you replace it with Linux.

Spam subject: "Curso de Hipnose" - I know it's "hypnosis course" in Portuguese, but I keep reading it as "Curse of the Hip Nose!"

Spam subject: "TIME" - I could use some more of that, thanks.

Spam quote: "I wish to accost you with a request that would be of immense benefit to both of us."

Spam subject: "and then where would you be" ... Something seems to be missing.

The spammers think they're poets now: "Getting sassy is easy when your watch is classy."

Spam subject: "Every woman will find it hard to let you go if you enlarge your tool." So it'll be sticky too?

Spam subject: "Re: Please, tell me success stories about V" - Well, the show did get a second season.

Spam subject: "Lust-creating solution"

Spam subject: "Pilates with a punch" - No, those are *pirates*. (Don't feel bad. They had the same problem in Penzance: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pirates_of_Penzance )

Spam subject: "No-limit porksword energy!" - Wow, that's a really OP mod!

Spam subject: "The best way to prove your virility is getting a Submariner SS watch" Really? I can think of some MUCH more effective methods

Spam subject: "Where to install it?" That's what--oh, never mind.