Pinned toot

Back in the day, I collected funny spam subjects and posted them on birdsite, sometimes adding my own jokes. I've decided to pick it up again here on the Fediverse, starting with the old archive & adding new items as I see them.

Spam subject: "Put the moon into your living room" - I'd love to, but I'm really going to have to move some furniture around to make it fit.

Spam subject: "Raise your carnal ambitions" - Bring an entire side of beef to your barbecue!

Spam subject: "Please stop eating these 2 veggies!" - My grocery budget is stretched thin right now, and they're all I have for lunch.

Spam subject: "Aliens spotted" - Odd, I thought they were striped.

Spam subject: "Vulcanize in size and win your gf's favor" - It's the only logical course of action.

Spam subject: "We sell you these pills thinking about you." All the way to the bank, I'm sure.

Spam subject: "Hire Top Ghostwriters At 85% Off To Create Your Timeless Wok 📕" - wait, are they ghost *writers*, ghost *cooks*, or ghost *metalworkers*??

Spam subject: "Add a small raisin to your outlook and every man will be yours." I'm still not sure what this one *means.*

Spam Subject: 'Review of our "success"' - If you have to put scare quotes around it, I'm not interested.

Spam subject: "Windows lockers availiable worldwide now!" - No thanks, I'd rather not let wannabe thieves see what's inside.

Spam subject: "Recently got a job offer? Enlarge your pole with wonder pills" - OK, it's 2 spams, but they were right next to each other.

Spam subject: "Invisible appz parking" - The only problem is, you can never tell whether a space is open or not.

Spam subject: "Aliens spotted" - Odd, I thought they were striped.

Spam subject: "Forget Fish Oil as you knew it before" - If you knew fish oil in the first place.

Spam subject: "Bikes or cars make road dangerous? alcoholically" - Or maybe it's the *alcohol* that makes the road dangerous...

Blogspam: "Hey may I notation some of the communication from this blog if I association fail to you?" - Please step away from the thesaurus.

Competing spammers: "Bamboo flooring. A great alternative to wood" and "Better homes with wood floors"

Spam subject: "User Dan Brown added you" But his status updates are so cryptic...

Spam subject: "Do not envy my physique" - Don't worry. I've seen no indication that I should.

Spam subject: "Now Whiten Your Teeth at Warp Speed"

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