LOL Spam! @LOLspam@botsin.space

Back in the day, I collected funny spam subjects and posted them on birdsite, sometimes adding my own jokes. I've decided to pick it up again here on the Fediverse, starting with the old archive & adding new items as I see them.

"Help your bodypart to perform!" - Hey, at least they're being gender-neutral.

Spam subject: "Friday beer awaits"

"Get your hedgehog to the moon" - believe it or not, this one *isn't* spam!

Spam quote: "He enjoyed immense popularity until his resignation in 1877." Um...who?

Spam subject: "How to Sex 10 Times a Night?" - Well, that all depends on what the verb is, doesn't it?

I really hope the second spam subject isn't answering the first: "Help, I'm depressed" and "Time for some beer."

Spam subject: "Make your woody sustainable" - Wait, are these sex drugs, or forestry?

Spam subject: "I worry about Jim" It's okay, Spock. We all do.

Spam subject: "This watter bottle is big enough to supply water for days, even weeks" - Weeks? Does it come with its own luggage cart?

Spam subject: "Be rock hard and ready all day" - That doesn't sound practical.

Spam subject: "Increase your level of confident" - How about we increase *your* level of competent first?

Spam subject: "Men's best flavored ice cream cone for women" - Okay, now I'm really confused.

Pair of spam subjects: "Still alone?" and "AWESOME NEWS! FANTASTIC!" - Gee, thanks...

"Get rid of pests for good!" - if only it would work on the spammers themselves.

Spam subject: "Our choice of software products will drive you crazy." - Why, are they all from Microsoft?

Spam Subject: "I gained 3 inches..try 4free today." New sales pitch from Peregrin Took.

Spam subject: "DEAL TO BE EXECUTED." Nooo! Don't let them execute Deal!!!!

Spam subject: "Promote what fills your jeans" - Now it's a senior vice president in charge of fuck-all!

Spam subject: "Is flying more cost effecting than flying..." - If it's more cost-effective than itself...

Spam subject: "PLEASE I NEED YOUR ASSISTANT URGENT" - Gee, it would be nice if I *had* an assistant!