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Dada Limericks

A well-hung ice skater named Weiss
To the crap game Claire added some spice.
Along came a fink
That henceforth I must shrink
Is making me come way too nice.

In Paris a food connoisseur
And have made my lim-er-icks swee-ter.
"Then toss me the dwile," (mop, cloth)
Hides a star spangle moth
Though, he's now Boris Yeltsin's chauffeur.

Your minor vaginal correction
Who began an immoral collection.
On his wedding night he
Till they said that there's three!
Of her festering vaginal infection.

This place ain't for spamming joke pages
And lawyers rack up their huge wages.
Which nobody knows.
That all of her shows
That's 'flat-line' on all the heart gauges.

Their parents, they claimed, were horrendous.
Squealed Dutch twins: brains small, boobs stupendous.
As she stripped to her skin
And since then has been
To receive the Bolognus stupendous.

I was torn, should I run or just die?
And it can be tough to get by.
Though not the right lever
And worst of all, never
Too many can set me awry.

An erudite fellow named Totten
Whose travels would not be forgotten.
But I just let a winner
I won't eat much dinner
Herpes Type 2 he had gotten.

My tastebuds have gone quite awry
His plane at great speeds he did fly.
But today is the day
Without further delay
"There are no traffic cops in the sky."

I can get from Sylvester Stallone
Who cursed an old harlot named Joan.
It's just the right size
To notice disguise.
Gave his landscapes distinction alone.

Watch out for Viagra! It kills!
Misfits which the Almighty wills.
To tickle your spleen.
Is the juvenille scene.
Show Turbans, as they head for the hills.

We Nuns of Perpetual Wet
And this is the damnedest one yet.
But should I resign
There is nowhere to dine
"And you'll have to be took to the vet."

Robert Dole said, "Lookie here, men."
Well, yes, mostly I do, but, then
The doctors rushed through
In coinages new
"I'll never to back to a man again."

A hopeful young starlet named Flo
The tale of a drunkard they called Joe.
When a man could not pay
"I'm sorry to say"
Who said, "Frankly, I much prefer Blow."

She said to her boyfriend, "Good Lord!"
At dinner cried out, "Smorg is bored."
It all went quite well
Smashed him all to hell.
Then see how long I stay aboard.

There once was a Scotsman on Venus
Was told the prescribed intravenous
The UN should raid
And don't be afraid.
Of trying to mount the wrong genus.

A guru stark naked and holy
A hermit's God's instrument wholly.
'Cause the dollar would pay
On the crapper, some say.
And steaming his genitals slowly.

A noted biologist Nate
I must travel through life overweight.
To any weird beast
We want it deceased!
MACEDOINE? Just something I ate.

Yes, soon on that sleigh he will sling
She was shocked by the size of this thing!
He injected his pride
And then he put it inside...
Perhaps it's time for a final fling.

Pigs in the field...Pork on the table.
Who at table tennis was very able.
When it came time to compare
Of her silicone ware
Their leadership roles are a fable.

A young man in frustration and shock
Was nailed by old carpenter Brock.
Yo! Limmers come out!
When she's beaten about
And gave me the seat of the rock!