He whimpered, "Oh Hell! It's not fair."
To feature in some pious fare.
And it shouldn't surprise
And mincemeat pies.
And people just stop and they stare!

There was a young girl named Tropp
Who drank a bottle of pop.
She spoke to my groin
And inserted a coin.
When he was flushed out by a cop.

An oversexed lady named Halls
Had a pair of spectacular balls
And under their tights
Were suffused with delights
"Five fifty," Tom morbidly calls.

Oh Arthur, Oh Arthur, by golly!
Of a crime they called sexual folly.
Then I'll send the junk
"I'm sure I won't flunk."
But sold like the best yuletide holly.

This morning I gave it a feed
Well known for his amorous speed.
But the silly young beast
Provided a feast
Not more but better we need!

There was a young lady named Marion
His huge cock gave most gals an ovarian.
And some major credit
When he started to edit
Now the nun's one fun contrarian.

In the Klondike a story is told
That had been there so long it was old.
The first to arrive
If we charge twenty-five.
"I married you merely for gold."

What info did the White House compile
Of making gals beg for a while.
They contorted a knot
I'm a star, am I not?
He later got killed by a tile.

There's no colder spot than White River
You really know how to deliver.
He expended his wealth
(Their sickness or health)
"And it gives me a cold in the liver."

But did you hear about Beth?
Who suffered from a shortage of breath.
'Cause although it's quite nice
'Cause my pecker's like ice!
And worship her unto my death.

A hermit out west of Ayer's Rock
Who loves to play diddle and fiddle-cock.
That technically still
From a Doc on West Hill.
So cover yourself with a smock.

A young man known only as Brown
He always seems to be down.
The pissoirs at the club
And they'd give me a rub.
By sneaking it out into town.

She sang and she danced and she skipped
My career with the Laker's been nipped.
The convict could see
May be suspect -- thus he
Plus you can't get your trousers unzipped!

Can this counsel you give me be true?
Complained everytime she would screw.
From classical Bach
I'd take care of my cock.
"But I ought to explain that to you!"

The spy who came in was a mole.
Had a quite horizontical hole.
When he asked, "Are you game?"
And enhances his name
Just two and she's out of control.

There once was a Bard with a staff
Of the off-season guests he could chaff
A wee little curl
Except that a girl
While my rod gives me many a laugh.

The nude girl she came with a smile
Loops converting a CSV file
You must don protection
P.G.'s predilection
And avoid all things vulgar and vile.

You guys all have tailors, I see.
No more uncouth enjoyments for me.
Underwent a sex change
I, too, could arrange
When the preacher fell out of the tree.

Then to some more offensive by far
It causes my girlfriend to scar.
To prove that I do
That hurricane blew
They spent every night in a jar.

To earn a good life is complex
Had a terrible Mother Complex.
Then peace will settle
And burst on your petal.
Then likely to get a complex.

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